I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
