LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
