So drunk its hurt
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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