i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
