Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
