how can u be prego again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
