he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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