But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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