the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I feel like abortions should bother me more
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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