Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
