You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
drinking out of a sandbucket again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
