Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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