do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I am one with the molecules
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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