$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
