He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
