there's paper in my vomit.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize