Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
