Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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