Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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