PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
