Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
