I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
