It's like God shit irony all over that family
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
