I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
