question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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