I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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