Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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