yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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