google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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