Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ugly people sure do ruin things
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
