While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
