You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
