shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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