called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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