And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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