I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
