Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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