Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
