im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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