i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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