Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
