he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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