What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
