my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
