my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize