Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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