I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
