I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
