if you like me you must not know who I am
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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