Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize