It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
