Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
