Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize