I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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