she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
