in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
