You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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