im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
His nipple licking is glorious
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