I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
