i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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