that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
