my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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