I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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