I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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