So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
