i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
