There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
