I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
