i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
